Dance Motivation #1

Hi Everyone!

I thought my first few dance related posts would be about who and what has inspired me to become a dancer. So I started to look back at how far I'd come, what I had accomplished, what'd inspired and motivated me. So this is going to be a long one, so get comfortable…

My first thoughts went back to when I first joined my current dancing school about 3 years ago. The person that without a doubt first came to mind was my ballet teacher, because I think she had a really big part to play in my growth as a dancer. 

 When I first joined my old dancing school, I liked the idea of dancing but I didn't love it. I had this idea that people would be so friendly and the teachers would be so keen to help their students like all the dance schools id seen on TV. So when I got to my first dancing school I was disappointed. Everyone was so hostile and rigid; they were not welcoming at all and didn't really want to let people into their social groups, which for me was a big sign that I shouldn't be here because I’m a really sociable and friendly person and I like to interact with people.

For those of you who do know me you’ll know that I have a bubbly personality and make friends easily because I talk to everyone. I was the same back then as I am now, but these people were not cooperating. I used all the tricks in my handbook, but still to no avail. To make things even worse, I had to get two buses to get there, which was an hour journey; and I was giving all my money away to a place that was making me feel lonely and isolated. Don't get me wrong I had fun, but I didn't really make any 'friends'. 

When I moved to my new dancing/current school, at the time it was exam year at the school so I was quite far behind. However my previous syllabus was quite similar so I was catching on, but still struggling. Then my ballet teacher suggested, that I take private lessons with her to catch up which I did.  I didn’t really expect anything miraculous to come from it if I am completely honest. But I found that it was a really good decision to make, we were so productive in half an hour, which for me at the time was absolutely awesome because I was learning a lot, which meant I could take the exam and catch up to the other dancers. And at the time I felt like because I was catching up my confidence in dancing was growing, because I left like I was becoming as ‘good as the other girls’.

It seems silly that something so little could have such an impact on me, but at my previous dance school I didn’t really have a dance teacher who cared enough to push me further and actually see some potential in me. My ballet teacher encourages me a lot to keep going even when I was doing the wrong thing or messed up half way. So I realized that she was right, when I kept going I found myself back in the right direction, and this made me see potential in myself.

I don't think it was my teacher’s intention to do this, she was probably just teaching like she'd always done with all of her other dancers. But everyone has their own individual journey in which they find their ‘light’. Every step I made there was always so form of doubt in my mind, so having someone experienced tell you your doing well, it gives you the extra push. I also think it was just that I didn't believe in myself enough at the time. I was surrounded with experienced dancers and obviously being new, I didn’t feel like I could ever be up to scratch or as good as them.  

So as time passed, it got to the presentation evening (which is what awards evening is called at my dancing school), which I didn't really know much about it because I'd only been there for 3 months. So it came to giving out awards, and I obviously being me didn't think I would get one, and again I hadn't been there for a long time so I wasn't expecting anything. 

Then my ballet teacher calls my name for the award. So you know when you do that thing, where you point to yourself in disbelief and ask yourself “ What? Who me?” That’s exactly what I did, because I was so surprised and I really didn’t think it would be me. She'd told me that i'd worked hard, even though I didn't see it myself, and that I deserved it. She was rewarding me for my hard work and It was the momentum I needed when I first started dancing. 

At the time I didn’t really look into it that much, but looking back and trying to identify what drove me to do my best even when people try to limit your progress and elevation, for me its knowing that someone even if its one person actually believes in you. So getting this award has to be one of the key moments for me.

To conclude I would like to address another dance related issue… I feel like nowadays dancers feel the need to brag about how much they love dancing and how they can’t live without it and post stereotypical quotes about how ‘dancing is my life’. Just because I don’t do that doesn’t mean I don’t love it or that I’m not as passionate as any other dancer, and because I'm not the most flexible or diverse dancer in the world, does not mean I don't love it. 

I love dancing as much as the next passionate person. There will be things I can't do; there will always be things we can't do. But I'm building myself up to do those things, reach the goals that I haven't already, not only in dancing but also in life. But I feel blessed to be surrounded by people who actually care about my potential. When I say I can't do something, my teachers ignore me, it's like they doesn't even listen to me when I say “I cant”; so I am grateful that I have people who care about my potential and want to see me succeed.

Showing appreciation is something that is essential to me, because I feel like everyone needs to be acknowledged if they have helped you or been good to you. So on that note, thank you to everyone who encourages and praises me, even when I go wrong. Thank you to my ballet teacher for not separating me from the other dancers back in 2014 when I felt like I couldn’t do it, but instead you pushed me to be to get to the same level and even better.

Thank you so much for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it.